Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she looked like the before picture.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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