yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize