Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
