I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize