CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
