i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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