SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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