i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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