I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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