Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
