what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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