She is in my trunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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