dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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