It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
