Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
