youre lurking in front of me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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