He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
