Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
