omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
