he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
this will be a night to untag.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
