hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
