Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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