susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
