remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just saw a hot homeless man
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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