Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
