I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
