I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
