My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
