I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
