I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize