He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
