Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
