I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
