She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
