so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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