He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize