I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
