I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
