He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
