I didn't shave. On purpose
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
