You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
