he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
