Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
