this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize