ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
