my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
