I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
