There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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