shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
