To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize