No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
