i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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