My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
