I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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