i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
