I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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