my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
