And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize