Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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