You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
