nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
