have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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